Japan and France Discuss Pairings
by Whydothingshappen
Summary: France gets bored at a world meeting and decides to talk to Japan about pairing nations together and how that relationship will turn out. Many pairings mentioned.


**AN: I made this awhile ago with a friend of mine. I came up with the idea because it just seemed like at some point they'd talk about something like this you know? I mean, they're both peverted, and...well, that's actually the only reason I have, but it works! Hope you like it, they discuss many pairings, and I'd like to see ya'll review this if you have something to say about these pairings as well. Oh, and if you're wondering everything that's italicized is what's happening now and anything not are notes Japan and France are passing back and forth.**

**I don't own Hetalia (duh).**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em>All the nations were at a meeting thing-a-ma-jig and for once Japan and France were sitting next to each other. After about an hour in America and England started are yelling about something while Italy is talking about pasta, Romano is yelling at Spain Russia was creeping' on China, Greece fell asleep again, while Germany was trying to separate the fight happening between America and England. Japan knew nothing was going to get done now so he started drawing in his notebook, when suddenly he was handed a note. Japan noticed the note was from France (of all people) and at first didn't read it, until France kept nudging the note until it was in front of his face to where Japan snatched the note out of France's hand and read it. <em>

France's note: While everyone is being an idiot want to talk about something?

_Japan at first thought this was random that France wanted to talk to him in the first place. It's not that they were enemies or anything, it was just random. Japan wrote back and handed the note to France._

Japan's note: Not really, no.

France was appalled by the answer so he writes back and gives another note to Japan.

France's note: I'm just saying we never really talk and we actually have a couple things in common.

_Japan wrote another note back._

Japan's note: If this is one of your attempts to get me into bed with you again, I will cut you in half with my katana.

France's note: No no no! I'm too lazy to do that now, I just want to talk. You know, communicate with others? You don't really do that that often, people normally have to come up to you.

Japan's note: I'm not that much of a 'people person'. Well, since it looks like England and America will be fighting for awhile, what do you want to talk about?

France's note: If we paired up the people in the room as couples, we should write each other's opinions about them.

Japan's note: ...I'm interested, but why?

France: Because we really have nothing to do and this is one main thing we have in common; being perverted. I'm just more open about it than you. ;)

Japan's note: You do have a point. Fine. You go first.

France's note: Well, since they're arguing, how about AmericaxEngland?

Japan's note: Well, England would be the Uke (because of his tsundere ways) and America Seme, and even though they've had a bad past, they'd have a good relationship filled with drama, romance, and lots of sex, mainly caused by America.

_France looks over at America and England arguing. _

France's note: Very true, by the way, don't you think that England would be such a whore?

Japan's note: Yeah, the more intoxicated he gets the more he strips naked. It happened once when he invited me out to a Pub. It was great; I got a lot of pictures.

France's note: Really? Can you send me some?

Japan's note: Sure later. But your pairing review should be... RussiaxChina

France's note: Well to tell you the truth I'm surprised anyone could survive having sex with Russia, I'd think their insides would've been destroyed after the first three thrusts, but China is a small and strong guy who could miraculously handle it. He's also not that afraid of anything so he could handle that crazy face Russia makes. It's not question Russia is Seme (Russia will ALWAYS be Seme, unless against Belarus *shudder*). Probably because China is so calm around Russia's crazy-ness, Russia's power is useless and makes him turn into an actual logical person, which makes them not want to kill each other.

Japan's note: I not fond of Russia, but it's true; he can never get through to China with his crazy ways. What pairing do you want me to do now?

_France looks up from the note and grins evilly at Japan, then quickly writes down the pairing and hands it to him._

France's note: GermanyxItaly, you did live with them for awhile.

_Japan looks up at Frances (who's still smiling), rolls his eyes and begins writing._

Japan's note: To tell you the truth I thought they were together after a year or so of knowing them. I wasn't surprised with them not showing affection with Nazis killing homosexuals, but still I would've thought Italy would've screwed up at least once, but no. Germany would be on top most of the time (I have a feeling that Italy would every now and then, but it's just a hypothesis really) and they would do many kinky things. And even with Italy being innocent, it's usually those kinds of people who like it the most in the end. Italy would also get Germany to be less strict and relaxed every now and then while Germany would love the fact he got to look over Italy for the rest of their lives. Something around there.

France's note: hmm, it's interesting to think my little brother who I even explained sex to now go to the next level with it ;)

Japan's note: ...you explained it to him?

France's note: Yes, I mean he asked so I obviously had to explain it to him. It took awhile, but he at least got the gist of it.

Japan: The poor soul, no wonder he kept asking me questions about 'g-spots' and 'blue balls'...anyways, since you made me go over close people I know, I'll do it to you as well. PrussiaxCanada

_France looks up at Japan with surprise and Japan shows a small grin._

France: Well, I recently talked to my dear Canada and apparently we've been ignoring him lately and he's hated it and himself for it. So I'm guessing my dear friend Prussia would help him not feel so bad about it because Prussia has such high self esteem he could still brush some off and still feel 'awesome'. Prussia is a very sexual guy, and even though I taught Canada everything I know about sex, he's not very comfortable with it even now (it's weird really). Prussia would probably push him off that cliff of virginity into the land of sexual intercourse where they would probably have the best sex they've ever had because of their chemistry. Well, the only sex for Canada. There is a chance of there being kinky things because the apple probably doesn't fall from the tree since Germany and he are brothers...aaah! I have to stop writing about this; I can't talk about my son having sex with another person! With me, yes, but I turn into a major parent if anyone messes with him. I swear if anyone broke his heart they'd never see the light of day again! Oh, and since you're being such a smart ass I guess I'll make a pairing with YOU in it! How about... JapanxAmerica

_Japan reads the note and slightly blushes and looks at France giving an evil grin._

Japan: I hate you.

France: Honhonhon! Just write it already! I'm waiting. : )

Japan: ...well, I can't lie; it is possible for him and me to have a relationship. The non-emotional (as he calls me) logical person with the idiotic nonsense person is a whole opposites attract option. America would be the Seme because he probably wouldn't do it if he wasn't and also because of my... anyways, you know me and my...style of things, so you know sex would be amazing (I'd make sure it was). Since we do share common interests, trade a lot, and also love playing videos games with each other it could work out. He'd probably try to make me show more emotion (or at least smile more) and it would work every now and then, because I do smile, I just do so when it's appropriate in my head. I'd make sure that he doesn't...how you say, "Not get into some deep shit" or at least if he does I'd be there to help/save him (even if he didn't want me to because he's the Hero). When you think about it, it'd probably be as if the American Hero the Green Hornet and Kato got together, but let's not go any further than that.

France: Very good Kato, very good.

Japan: Never call me that again.

France: Hahaha, okay okay! By the way you seem to have an issue with America saying you have no emotion.

Japan: He calls me a cyborg and thinks I'm going to take over the world someday.

_France busted out laughing and everyone looked at him for a moment wondering what was so funny. Francis noticed everyone looking at him and said, "Sorry everyone, you can continue arguing, I was just laughing at a funny joke." Everyone looked at him funny, but then didn't care and continued to argue._

Japan's note: For you just laughing at me, your pairing is FrancexEngland

_France looked up from the note at Japan with a glare and Japan with a small smile on his face._

France: You wouldn't dare.

Japan: Write the note, I'm waiting.

_France growled and cussed a couple times then started furiously writing. In the middle of his writing Japan handed him another note._

Japan's note: You better not be lying either, no matter how much you hate it.

France's note: Well for starters our relationship would end in either a 'happily ever after' or 'total disaster'. The happily ever after factor would probably be us just accepting the fact that our hatred is really hidden love/lust for each other and we become an amazing couple with lots and lots and lots of sex. It doesn't really matter if the sex is kinky or not, there will just be a lot and you know it. We would probably switch on and off sometimes with who's on top, but it'd probably mostly me moi, because, well, it's me. But we wouldn't just connect on sex, we'd connect on probably feelings and talking and other stuff like that.

And then there's the total disaster. We'd end up confessing our love for each other and have lots and lots and lots and lots of sex, but soon we realize we just wanted each other for lust and not love. We'd start to fight a lot (possibly physically as well as verbal) and eventually realize that we weren't meant to be even though the time we spent together was fun and break up. OR we could be in-between and keep going on and off when we'd suddenly want each other then totally despise each other within a couple of days. It's very risky to try but will either end amazing or in tragedy

There. Fine. Happy?

Japan note's: Thank you for being truthful, I agree, you two should try something sometime by the way.

France: No, never ever ever ever! There is such a small chance with me being with him-AAH! You've pissed off the wrong Frenchman Japan, you'll do JapanxChina.

_Japan looks up at him in disgust. France just smiles and points at the paper to taunt/remind him to write it down._

Japan's note: ...it'd work in the same way me and America would work. We would balance each other. Yes, China is a good fighter, but he's also REALLY immature and kinda childish at times. (This is why I hated being a part of him) Either way, he'd be constantly trying to get me to laugh or smile by stretch my mouth and pouting until I did so. And he'd be VERY possessive of me, constantly watching me around others and bashing those who got to close over the head. Which, while I'd probably scold him for, I'd secretly love, as I do like being *cough* dominated. The sex would be...interesting. Defiantly different. I don't see me topping, but I don't see HIM topping either. I could, however, see toys coming into play. And I imagine that, while he'd be possessive, he'd probably want to involve other's in the sex; Because it's NOT the sex he'd be self conscious about, it's me finding someone else. He'd be so paranoid of it, in fact, he'd often, for the first few weeks, cry about it, and I'd end up comforting him or something. Then he'd get onto me about looking stone-like during the comforting. Oh, and he'd forbid me from seeing America a lot. For the first year, I'd probably sit in the back during meetings. Eventually, he'll become more confident, and then feel guilty and stupid about it. And if we did end up together, I don't see us falling out of it.

When China decides something that big, he doesn't give up. Or let it go, and I'd be happy with that.

So there. Now, CanadaxFrance.

France's note: Honhonhon, now we're getting somewhere. Well it'd probably have the whole 'americaxengland' father-son feel, but with less drama between each other. Canada would fall for me while I lure him in and we'd be pretty happy together. The sex would be great because I mean, I'm going to be there, and we'd get along fine because we spent a lot of time together already. I'd obviously top, duh. But there'd probably be some drama because of England taking Canada away from me and I wouldn't get to see him for a long time. The only reason we're not together now is because he doesn't want to be with me. He sees me as a father, and that's all. Although he is adorable!

Japan's note: Yes, he has a feminine kind of build, but is still really attractive in a 'cute' way.

France: Yes, very. Hmm...What other pairing should we do...OH! Honhonhon, how about JapanxEngland?

_Japan blushed and nodded, and began to write._

Japan's note: Well...actually, I've thought about this one a lot. Out of everyone else, he seems like a more...logical match. He's tsundere, for starters, which I have an interest in. He's serious like me at the right moments. The sex would be...all kinds of amazing. I really do see him liking power play. See, he wants someone weaker than him. That's probably why you two wouldn't work—you're too free spirited. Simply put, he wants another, idolized version of kid-America. He's...well, when it comes to most people, he'd probably top, with the exception of you and America, being who you two are. He gets drunk to repress the hard feelings of America to leaving him-because he can't take rejection. At all. In fact, he probably has a lot of built up anger in that sense. So honestly, I could see there being physical abuse, possibly, in any relationship he's in besides him and America. But they're together, while it'd make sense, might never happen-England would realize he only misses and wants the younger America. He'd become sad, and, basically, wither away with America because he'd fake the happiness because he doesn't want to seem unregretful. But that's not the point. England would be a very dominant person. And then comes in the drinking. I, personally, don't think I'd interfere, until it got life-threatening. Yes, it's pretty bad now, but he's not dying. Either way, he'd be impossible to handle when drunk. I'd let him do as he pleased, which wouldn't be a good idea. But then, neither would going against him. That'd end up in an attack.

But once we get over (if we do) the dominance thing, everything would be wonderful.

He'd be the kind of person who'd buy random, unexpected gifts and kinda mumble something about them actually being free with some purchase he made, even if the price tag says other-wise. And I honestly think I'd smile a lot with him, and be happy. I already enjoy his company.

France: Hmm, sounds like it would work well. Why haven't you asked him out or anything?

Japan: ...I'm in a relationship, and it's complicated.

France:? With who? You might as well tell me now, I'll find out since I'm interested now. I have my ways. ;) is it…

_Francis sit's there for a few moments contemplating in his head who Japan could possibly be with at the moment. _

France's note: ...Greece?

_Japan nodded. France gasped and looked slightly at Greece who's sleeping, then writes quickly._

France's note: Really? I thought it was just a rumor.

Japan's note: ...he was the one who popped the cherry. Except...I thought that had been a one night stand, but he wanted more. One thing lead to another, I thought I was 'in love with him', so we started dating. He's desperately in love with me, but...now I want out. And he knows that. I'm miserable because I want out, and he's miserable because I want out, yet we're still 'together'. He wants me to be happy, but he also wanted to be with me. So now, normally, we'll have sex for three hours, and then won't be able to look at each other for days.

France's note: Woah, I'm sorry, I hope you guys get through it. Don't mean to seem rude by budging in, but if Greece really does care about you he'd let you go even if it hurt him. Wounds heal. Just have patience (which you have plenty of); you'll both be free soon.

Japan's note: ...well, I haven't officially broken it off yet, but I actually planned on tonight. If I say it, finally, he'll let me go, I imagine. He'll HAVE to.

France's note: Well I hope you both soon find someone else to make you both happy.

Japan's note: Thank you. And you?

France's note: Wait, what do you mean 'and you'?

Japan: Who do you have special in your life? Or are interested in?

France's note: oh, well...I'm currently not really in a relationship.

_Japan looks at France oddly, raises his eyebrow, and writes back._

Japan's note: Then anyone you have taken note of?

France's note: ...Russia.

_Japan has a surprised look and quickly writes down the note._

Japan: WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT TO BE WITH HIM?

"_Hey! What 'r ya'll doing?" America suddenly yelled out at France and Japan. That statement startled them as they looked up to see that all the nations we're staring at them. Japan didn't really know what to say to them at the moment when suddenly France spoke up, "We were just having a conversation,"_

"_About what?" America asked._

"_Oh nothing you're really interested in,"_

"_No I wanna know! Tell me tell me tell me! You guys have been passing notes to each other this whole time and I wanna know!"_

_America looked and saw that they wrote notes on at least 5 notebook pieces of paper to each other and decided to grab one of them. Japan grabbed America's hand before he could and said, "America, these notes are private, you have no right to look at them,"_

_America whined, "But I wanna seeeeeee!"_

"_America, stop being such a kid," England said, "If he doesn't want you to see he doesn't have to show you." _

"_Aww," Alfred complained, "It's not fair."_

"_Well it doesn't matter anyhow," Germany said, "The meeting is over, so we can leave now." All the nations gave a relieved comment and all walked out of the room. While Greece left the room France couldn't help but look at him because of the situation Japan just told him, then look back at Japan. France and Japan were gathering their things and France took the notes they were writing and put them in his bag. As they both left the room but both we're going in opposite directions, France stopped and turned towards Japan._

"_Hey Japan,"_

_Japan stopped and turned. _

"_It was nice having that chat with you, and I hope all goes well tonight," France said with a smile. _

_Japan slightly blushed, "Thank you, and I hope…whatever you're going to do with Russia will go…well," _

"_Thanks," France said. They both turned and went on their way. _


End file.
